Babygaga
wrote an article titled, "12 Dangers of Breastfeeding for Too Long Most
Moms Don't Know" last month on June 28th. Here's the link if you want
to read it yourself.
If a mom is still breastfeeding past one year, do they deserve criticism for it? Let's take a look at the 12 'dangers' that Babygaga is warning about.
Prepare yourself for a ride, because this isn't a short post.
12. Can Cause Infertility
While
a quick google search can confirm that babies born to mothers who conceived
less than six months after giving birth have an increased risk for premature birth or other birth
complications, you don't have to wait 2 solid years before you
conceive again. The study recommends waiting 18 months for better
outcomes. I conceived within the first year after I had my first child -
the second baby was just fine. Babygaga is using this as a scare tactic.
A reason why you should quit breastfeeding if you're trying to conceive -
it's A DANGER - after all. /sarcasm
The funny thing is, in my September babies group on Facebook, about 10 or more of the momma's are still breastfeeding from their previous pregnancies, while they're growing their new bundle of joy, which leads me to question her final point about getting pregnant.
The term she's looking for, but doesn't supply, is Lactational Amenorrhea. It's a period of time in which you don't ovulate, or have a period, while breastfeeding, but it doesn't always last the entire time you breastfeed. The average time this lasts is about six months, then your period returns, along with regular ovulation.
Breastfeeding for a long time is not going to make you infertile, or incapable of conceiving again. If you're still breastfeeding at the 2 year mark, it's extremely unlikely you're breastfeeding every 2-4 hours. Your toddler isn't a newborn. All the moms I know that are still breastfeeding at this point are doing it 3-4 times a day, max. And, you guessed it, getting their period every month along with healthy ovulation. So if you want another baby, and you're still breastfeeding your last one, don't feel like you HAVE to stop. You do you.
11. Suckling Can Become Painful
Yes, toddlers have stronger jaws and teeth, but they aren't
sharks. They don't instinctively chomp down like piranha just because
they have something in their mouth. Not only is suckling pain not
dangerous - it's not true. I know many moms who breastfed past a
year, well into year 2, who have never had a toddler bite into their nipples
like they were carrots. The most pain I had breastfeeding was in the first
week while I was getting used to it. If you've been breastfeeding for a
year, your baby already has teeth. Your baby may have even bitten you
once or twice while teething, but it doesn't get WORSE like the article
suggests. I promise, you'll be fine. You're not going to lose a
nipple.
10. Mom loses her freedom
Mom losing her freedom is not a "danger" and again, the
entirety of this one is subjective. It's her opinion. Have you ever
relaxed and had a glass of wine while reading a book? That's what
breastfeeding was like for me. It was a time for me to sit down, relax,
and finally have some peace and quiet. I would read, watch my TV shows,
listen to music, catch up on my Buzzfeed articles, and more. I spent that
time relaxing and bonding with my sons. I never once felt chained down.
It wasn't a sacrifice to me. Keep in mind, breastfeeding moms can
pump their milk and give it to their kid in a sippy cup. Straight from
the breast isn't the only way to do it. It is entirely possible to hand
your toddler a sippy cup of breastmilk and get on with your day, if you have
things to do.
9. Weaning the Baby to Solid Foods can be Impossible
My nephew is the most adorable baby in the world, still
breastfeeding strong and hitting that one year mark next week. Guess
what? That kid eats more solid food than my two boys combined. I've
never seen a child eat so much. If you've got food nearby, and he wants
it, he will straight up Helen Keller your plate if you're not careful. Not
only is the above not a "danger," it's wildly inaccurate.
8. Baby Can Become Malnourished
Well this is the first time in a while this lady has used
"danger" correctly. Undernourishment is a danger, yes,
absolutely. It's not something to take lightly, it's a SERIOUS thing.
However, after reading this, I almost have to believe she's never spoken
to a person who was still breastfeeding their kid past age one.
Their diet doesn't consist of mostly breastmilk and no solids. They eat normal meals throughout the day, full of healthy nutritious food, and drink breastmilk like you and I would drink juice or water throughout the day. Does your diet consist of 80% liquids? No? Neither does theirs. Extended breastfeeding can negatively impact the nutritional intake of your child if you aren't giving them solid foods. However, if you're feeding them solid food and they are eating their meals like a normal toddler should, there's no reason why you can't keep breastfeeding without feeling like you're causing your toddler harm.
7. Baby Will Become Less Independent...
The idea that if you prolong breastfeeding your child won't be
independent is absurd. If your child is getting nutrition from your
breast instead of a sippy cup, they won't be able to dress themselves, feed
themselves, or do anything on their own, according to this. The problem
is, it isn't true. It's a common misconception that breastfed babies are
spoiled and dependent.
Yes, you want them to eventually leave the nest. But you're not planning to breastfeed them through to college, are you? I know plenty of children who were breastfed well into the toddler years who are just as independent as those who didn't. I guarantee you, if I took you to a daycare or preschool evenly split between children who did and didn't breastfeed past a year, you wouldn't be able to point out the ones that did or didn't. You just wouldn't.
6. ...And Cause Low Energy Intake
Toddlers need tons of calories. They get it from the food
they eat. I honestly don't believe that Babygaga has spent any time
around a breastfed toddler. Or, maybe she has.
Honestly, she might
have been around a playgroup or in a preschool or day care where there was a
toddler still receiving breastmilk. Funny thing is, she probably didn't
even realize it.
Those two year olds sitting in the corner eating snacks? One has a
cup of breastmilk and the other has a cup of cows milk. Guess what?
Neither is malnourished, and neither has fatigue caused by low calorie
intake. At dinner later, that toddler will get cows milk and the other
toddler will get breastmilk, straight from the breast, after a good, solid meal
full of yummy calories.
Also, keep in mind, breastmilk contains, on average, 171 calories per cup, while cows milk only has 146 calories per cup.
Your argument only holds if the toddler in question is ONLY
getting his or her source of nutrition from breastmilk, which isn't the case in
any mom I've ever met who breastfed past a year.
5. Baby Will be Less Likely to Self Soothe
Yes, self-soothing is an incredibly important life skill.
You know, I absolutely love a glass of wine when i'm stressed. If I
don't have a glass of wine though, I'll settle for a bath. Or a book.
Or I'll lean on my husband for emotional support.
When my son was 2 years old, he was diagnosed with Autism.
He hadn't yet begun speaking, so it was frustrating and hard for him to
tell us what he wanted. That stressed him out quite a bit, so he quite
often needed help soothing himself. He wasn't breastfeeding at this
point, so he had different methods. He had SEVERAL methods, in fact.
He had a favorite blanket, a disgusting teddy bear that I washed and
sewed back together more times than I can count, he had a favorite sippy cup,
and more. With my second? No. He didn't have several.
He had ONE thing; his pacifier.
If his pacifier was nowhere to be found, it was devastating.
He had a hard time self-soothing, even though he wasn't breastfeeding.
His pacifier was his thing, his comfort. For some babies, it's a
blanket, for others it's a pacifier, and for some babies, it's mother's breast.
If it's not one thing, it's going to be something else. They all
eventually learn how to self-soothe, but trading breast for binky isn't going
to make a damn difference. I guarantee you.
Your kid is STILL going to have a hard time. All babies do,
while they are learning. A non-breastfed kid may struggle to self-soothe
without a bottle or sippy cup. A breastfed kid may struggle to
self-soothe without a breast.
Self-soothing habits are learned - and not hindered because you swapped one soothing activity for a different one.
4. There Will be Awkward Questions about Body Parts
Honestly this one just made me angry. Awkwardness, first of
all, is not dangerous. Second of all, you're kind of insinuating here
that your kids might grow up to fondle other women without their permission
because you exposed them to breastfeeding for a long time.
My 8 and 9 year old kids sometime walk in on me when i'm changing
my shirt. I don't immediately gasp and cover up. I imagine they'll
see my breasts when i'm feeding their new little sister. They asked
"what's that" a long time ago, and I told them what "that"
was. They are breasts. Women use them to feed and nourish their
babies.
When my daughter one day asks "what are these" when her
breasts are growing in, I won't say "OH HEAVENS NO, THE AWKWARDNESS!' and
run the other way. I'll tell her.
Breastfeeding is between a mom and her child, and does nothing to
damage a child's understanding of personal boundaries. I have met some
breastfeeding 2 and 3 year olds that showed zero interest in my tata's.
At the VERY least, extended breastfeeding is at risk of teaching
your kids that breasts are for something other than sex. If you think anatomy
questions are awkward, and plan to avoid them by not breastfeeding beyond a
year, you're in for a long, rough ride as a parent. After all, one day
your kids become teens, and teens have all kinds of awkward questions.
There will ALWAYS be awkward questions about body parts - but if
you shy away from them, you're teaching them that it's awkward, and not normal.
If you're scared of answering "what are those" when your kids
point to your breast, they will be very, very uncomfortable with breasts as adults.
THAT is why we have adults who are terrified of seeing a woman breastfeed
in public.
Get used to the awkward questions, Babygaga, if you're a parent, they will likely never end.
3. Society Isn't Always Accepting
This isn't a danger caused by breastfeeding. This is a sad
situation caused by people who think breastfeeding is an awkward, abnormal
activity.
Looks of disgust and judgement are not "dangers" that
can be avoided by simply not breastfeeding past a year.
Let me tell you something: If we always caved to societal
standards of what's considered "normal" or "appropriate"
you wouldn't be able to go outside in shorts in the summer. We made
wearing shorts and exposing our legs and ankles (yes, something that used to be
seen as one of those awkward, personal body parts) normal because we said
"to hell with what people think" and just wore them.
As she says, the worldwide average age to wean is 4.2 years old.
If you are breastfeeding your 2-3 year old in public and someone gives
you a look of disgust, that's really THEIR problem, isn't it? Why should
you care?
What if the United States was filled with a new generation of kids
who understood breastfeeding was normal, and DIDN'T give looks of judgement and
disgust when they saw it happening in public? Isn't that the goal here?
Are you saying we should stop trying to strive for a better, more
accepting world, and instead just accept that the United States kind of sucks
at supporting breastfeeding women?
2. Over Attachment
This one is real dangerous, folks. You definitely don't want
those kids to think you love them, or care about them. Show them who is
in control from the beginning by ignoring them when they cry. Don't
baby-wear, co-sleep, wean naturally, or extend breastfeeding, because if you
do, your child might just know what it feels like to feel loved and safe.
1.
If They're Old Enough to Ask For It...
My sister would whip out her breast in the grocery store to feed
her 11 month old without a thought or care in the world. I did so too, on
occasion, when I was breastfeeding my sons. How is a child crying for a
toy any different than crying for a breast? Both situations are going to
make SOMEBODY uncomfortable, but understand this: I'm a parent, in a grocery
store, with a crying kid. I don't have the time, energy, or patience, to
care about your feelings. I'm thinking about my kid, and my sanity, not
whether or not I'm making the strange couple browsing the cracker aisle feel
some kind of way.
This was a long one, thanks for sticking with me. I'll wrap
it up with this. Babygaga claims that these are 12 dangers of
breastfeeding. Which, by the way, here's the definition:
dan·ger
ˈdānjər/
noun
- the possibility of suffering harm or injury.
"his life was in danger"
synonyms: peril, hazard, risk, jeopardy;
Aside from the few misconceptions about malnourishment, none of
these are dangerous things. As I said before, I didn't breastfeed my kids
past a year. It wasn't because of societal pressure, or fear that I was
going to harm my sons. It was because I felt they, and I, were ready to
leave that chapter behind us.
If you want to continue breastfeeding, do it. Don't be
afraid. Don't worry about what someone else says or thinks about it, and
don't let articles like Babygaga's list of "dangers" persuade you to
end it.
You shouldn't worry about what I think, or what she thinks, or
what anyone else thinks. You are providing your baby, or toddler, with
love, nourishment, and promoting the FACT that breastfeeding is a natural part
of life. Maybe one day, when they are older, they'll walk past that mom
on the bench who is feeding her little one and they won't even notice - or if
they do, they won't give her looks that make that poor mom feel like she's
doing something dirty.
We can do better, as parents. I know we can. The first
step is to stop making a list of reasons why other moms should quit doing
something that makes you uncomfortable.
You do you, mama.
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